Political Ravings of a Certifiable Card-Carrying Liberaltic

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Obama Elect - Week 1

Day 1 - Take half a day off from the 2 year campaign and we'll meet at noon to discuss the next 8+ years of work. Go Go GObama!

Day 2 - Launch www.change.gov as a forum to tell you what the President (elect) is doing for you. I guess you won't need me any more.

Day 3 - It's a Prairie State quorum. Rahm Emanuel accepts the job as chief of staff. Can he get things done without burning everything to the ground? Here's hope!

David Axelrod (who?) is now the White House Advisor (elect of course). And they said Obama didn't like Jewish people.

Bring me the intelligence briefings! My calendar is already booked for the next eight years. Everyone has a pet project.

Day 4 - Start work on the 100 day plan to fix the economy (Can you say FDR?). Isn't that cheating when you get an extra 73 days before the starter pistol goes off?

Priorities: 1) Health Care, 2) Tax hike for rich guys, 3) Energy, 4) Education, 5) Auto Industry.

You think that's enough for the first 100 days? Nope, he's also going to collect all the guns, get rid of all the money (we'll now use lentils for currency), everyone gets an anger suppression chip installed in your frontal lobe (next upgrade will add sensitivity and a good fashion sense), then he will suspend all military spending until we find a good use for it, and finally create a real entitlement system where only people making over $300,000 a year actually have to go to work. Everybody else gets a mansion and a mule along with servants (robots since we can't pay servants $300K) and free food (seaweed, but you have to collect it yourself). He'll save the gay marriage bill until he needs to get re-elected.

Day 5 - Let's fix the auto industry in the US giving them 25 billion to retool for more fuel efficient cars. Now initiating an economic team to study options to help.

Statement: "This economic crisis will not stop me from expanding health care, overhauling education and energy policy, and passing a middle-class tax cut soon."

First weekly (did he say weekly?) radio address. He's going to talk to us? Regularly?

Day 6 - Start the day taking the girls to school. He's still a dad (or maybe he's still looking for photo ops - hard to break these habits).

Meet with Lame Duckie and scope out new drapes and the best spot for the jacuzzi. First question to 43: "How can people dislike you more than Nixon after Watergate?" Oh yeah, as evil as he was, he still created the EPA, tamed Communist China, pushed the SALT treaty, declared war on cancer, said no to chemical weapons and seemed to have some interest in helping America become the most powerful bully nation in the world.

Bush legacy? Some kind of vestigial limb to an Alzheimer government stuck in a padded room.

Plans to close down Gitmo are already being formalized. More details soon from Code Name: Renegade!

Day 7 - Save the cheerleader!

Wow! Most people probably wrote America off as the Cubs of the world, but it's like we dusted off the old light saber and created a Luke Skywalker to take out the evil empire. You're going down Microsoft!