Political Ravings of a Certifiable Card-Carrying Liberaltic

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Expand the Military

We need to expand the military so it can fight terrorism "for a long period of time", says the font of wisdom who is currently commander in chief (of only the armed services, not the country!).

Awesome! I know how to do that. Just raise the minimum wage for grunts. If you make the starting pay for enlisted men begin at $150K, you will get a big army ready to do anything you say. If you need a million extra troops it will cost about 150 billion dollars a year. So long as we can finish the job in one year, that's still a lot cheaper than the money we've spent so far in this police action. Hopefully it won't escalate into a war. If we had a war in Iraq, then we might need another million troops. That would be really expensive.

Or maybe we could do what the private sector is doing: Outsource it!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Holocaust Schmolocaust

Wow! Everyone is rioting! I see people protesting Jimmy Carter because he said Jewish people are partly at fault for the violence there and now it's a big deal that Iran is holding a conference to discuss whether the Holocaust horror was exaggerated to create sympathy for people of Jewish faith. Oh my god! They even brought in wacko "experts" to discuss theories that it may have been completely fabricated. Oy Vey!

Let's all calm down a minute and be adults. Why would Iran host a conference about the treatment of Jewish people sixty years ago? Most likely because it's more offensive than telling everyone that Israel's mom is a fat whore. Other than being passive aggressive, this move serves no other purpose for Iran. On the other hand, for the rest of the world, they have laid their cards on the table. After all the demonstrations and violence across Muslim communities over the Danish cartoons, the comments of the Pope, the immigrant employment conditions in France, Koran abuse in Guantanimo, and treatment of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, it's obvious that this is a move to cause reaction in the rest of the world. Someone said, "We need some Jewish riots."

Do you think anyone in Iran cares if the Holocaust really occured? Does anyone in the world care what David Duke thinks? So if the theory is the Holocaust was a lie to glean support from the rest of the world to displace Muslims and create the state of Israel, then this still doesn't change anything. If the legitimacy of their claim to the land is in question, then maybe we should give Iran back to the Sassanids, or the Parthians, or the Seleucids, or the Medians, or the Elamites. All of these people were displaced from that land.

Iran (Ahmadinejad) says Israel will be wiped from the face of the map and the zionist regime will soon be extinct. If this is a threat it sure seems like a stupid one. Right now, if Islamic leaders could keep their wits, they could garner more sympathy around the world than ever before with all the imperialistic crap going on over there. Any attack on Israel would spark a true holy world war and almost all the non-muslims (70% of the population of the world) would be inclined to approve the annihilation of Iran as a country. Then all the white people would be wearing radiation suits to extract the oil there for free.

The government of Iran knows this. They aren't going to sacrifice seventy million Muslims to get rid of a pesky 4.8 million Jewish neighbors. And to destroy the Jewish population, they would have to also kill the 1.5 million Muslims living in Israel. I'm not saying that we shouldn't take Iran seriously when they are openly or passively aggressive to other countries. The best policy in this situation is the same one that applies to individuals who use passive aggressive techniques. At the next G8 summit, or UN meeting, or big world press conference, treat Iran like you would someone with a PA problem (like me):

Circumvent: Be cooperative. Don’t be judgmental, angry, controlling.
Defuse: Call them on their behavior without judging it. Let them fix themselves.
Protect: Don’t expect or want anything from them.
Use Their Strength: Put them in situations where they need to follow orders or please others.
Heal: Be cooperative. Make sure they have a positive experience in asserting themselves.

Together we can change this dysfunctional relationship in the middle east, but not by allowing them to create more distance with petty acts like this. It's really a cry for help.